Jai “Mata” Dee!??

Jai “Mata” Dee!??
Maa…you can be such a pain in the…..@$$#!

Last Friday when my husband said, come and pick me up early. I was excited, hoping for a dinner or a (long due) walk to the beach during sun-set. Being in Chennai, with all my friends back in Delhi, I endlessly whine and wait for Fridays where I can have a bit of a go-out session! And all decked up, I picked him up and said where do we go, while he almost simultaneously informed at home – Amma, I am on my way home! People, who know me, would have seen the VIBGYOR on my face fade to the expression of that of LIVID. (BTW, my good friend Dr. Dominic told me once that LIVID that can mean angry/annoyed- is actually a medical term now used commonly. When you have a concussion or a small blood clot - the color that you see changes from red, violet, greenish blue…that’s called LIVID - FYI) So I figured my husband who is a fitness fanatic had done thigh exercise at the gym and was feeling the heat “Perhaps”. He realized the tension in me for the weekend was falling and I would get bored watching the SUN and the MOON TV’s. Nobody’s got an interest in Hindi channels and I don’t blame them and Discoveries and NGC’s are not allowed in a vegetarian household! How could you watch a Lion tearing apart Oh Dear, Disgusting! He said I am feeling tired! And I was mum! (Thinking why did you have to go all out at the GYM) But later I realized, Mum is actually the word!!! Thereafter I started cursing myself, for I realized what a stupid un-understanding and selfish wife I was becoming. He kept quite, but I felt the heat (literally), he was running a temperature and while I did what I can, I was quite ashamed of being such a jerk! Anyways, so Saturday came and he rested and slept endlessly… Sunday morning happened and I saw something, that didn’t look like acne or a heat-boil. Suggested him to get it tested for Chicken Pox…and then the shit hit the ceiling…!!!!

Incredible India that we live in can be quite amazing and annoying at the same time. Like I mentioned in my previous post about similarities in addressing people across cultures as bhai jaan, bhaiyya, anna, dada or chettan…For conjunctivitis also, the term is EYES… Aankhein in Hindi, Madras Eye for here and likewise! And for Chicken Pox too…the word is MOTHER! In North it is called Mata and in South it is called Ammai! (Chinna Ammai/Chotee Mata is Chicken Pox, Periya Ammai/Barhi Mata – Small Pox and Thaata Ammai/well thaata means grandpa…so I am assuming Measles in hindi it should be Nana?Nah.. doesn’t sound like it – how about DADA MATA???).

So Goddess has come home! And while, surfing enough on the net, I figured there is nothing much you can do about it and this one is purely treated by home remedies… BUT My dear COOK MAMI was all active. (She will figure quite a lot in my posts hereafter, for she is our lifeline, literally pampering me like a kid from morning coffee to lunch dabba to dinner…she is somebody we can’t do without and I have to admit she is extremely nice and a warm lady, and that’s also because my Mother-in-law is also all caring I am not saying this to impress her…she doesn’t read this). But then we all are annoying at times aren’t we? And the dear cook MAMI is no exception…I think it can also be because of her all screechy voice…

So there she was...Firm! NO Going to the doctor! For God sake WHY? Arey, Amman has come home/Maata ghar aayee hai, It’s a good thing!! Don't worry! Oh Yeah? To see the poor guy erupting like a cracker is a good thing? And what if this is Herpes and not Chicken Pox…Well, Thanks but no thanks… Helplessness, anger and teary eyed all I wanted desperately was to confirm if these 2 boils are actually courtesy –Teri…Maa kee! But while I was Hyper, I must give my husband 100% credit for the patience he has (I think all Pisceans have it in them), he kept nodding, waited and tolerated her for the next hour and a half and after she left cooking more than meals for us…he forced all at home to go and get it at least confirmed with the Doctor. But ask any original and ultra religious MOM, and you are told, “If you go to a doctor and do anything against the wishes, Ammai/Maata will get angry”. What will you do? It was a difficult choice – Hell difficult. Nobody was to be blamed. I believed in medicine and she believed in GOD and why the disease itself is named after GODDESS DURGA/KALI…so what to do? But thankfully, the cooking influence was greasy enough, for we finally convinced at home and to my relief went to the doc! And yes, it was confirmed as Chicken POX. And while doctor, gave medicines, he also rationally made everyone including ME understand that home-remedy is the best cure and these medicines are only to lessen itching and scarring. So both the parties were relieved. While the traditional therapy is being followed, medical intervention was a big phew - to me!

I think scientifically the disease is considered a blessing in disguise for the cure leaves you with some strong antibodies that hold your immune system even better. And probably that’s why Ammai/Mata coming home is considered good…And for traditional therapies like neem any guesses. Actually when the boils explode, the pus attracts a lot of ants and unwarranted insects and bitter Margosa leaves around the patient help stay them away. Oh Okay! So the moral of the story was don’t confuse everything with orthodoxy and superstition! Like I did! Honestly, While we sometimes get too aggressive about the whole deal about what the heck and I don’t believe in this orthodox and stupid superstition –And I am modern shit …I couldn’t deny that the vegetarian household finally had a chicken suffering from Mata… and much to kick off my false- ego; Reality bit me… Indeed one has to go by what the oldies say. It is indeed the good old Neem/ Margosa leaves and turmeric that cure the disease from spreading and while it is contagious, I see my poor man’s Cherubian face look like more and more like that of Archie!

And while he is trying his best to take it all by himself so it doesn’t spread to anyone of us.…he forced me to run to office…And when I was leaving, despite high temperature and a very-very tired look on his face, Archie managed to say with a faint smile – Hey I told you I wasn’t 30!!!! I was quick to reply controlling my emotions Sure “Jai Mata Dee”!